All Over Again

the jobs will drag me over the down towns,

we are teachers,

but i walk back into the hell hole

and forget the things i learned when i left,

i learned to keep my chin up,

not to take you seriously,

but i am curious enough to ask

the kids your name

this is a bad move,

and if i can just say that over and over,

i will try to make better ones,

and if i can just say that over and over

under my breathe for the rest of my life,

then i will have the high ground

and it will replace the genuine thing in subtitutes

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

“Money Talks”

the shitty thing about declaring money was speech,

is that it let them silence the poor

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

a Hurricane Levels a Home

your lover crushed under the

broken structure’s bones,

what kind of broken hearts are we?

that we ask

“What have I done to earn this?”

what kind of broken hearts are we?

that we worry

what the Hurricane had in mind?

that we were so evil inside, we deserved to see our work shattered?

we are not so deserving as all that

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Bitter Medicine

radio fuzz,

driving to the bay

without getting out of the car,

driving home,

hours on the night roads,

lying awake until 4,

sleeping until noon,

waking up as the past

comes home just to hurt you,

every minute your

future takes a step back,

you see yourself on the horizon,

just before you disappear over the edge,

waking up as the past

comes home just to hurt you,

she used to say “love”,

and call you beautiful names,

now she can’t stand to look at your face,

you wonder just how much you’ve changed,

it’s scary if you did, or if you couldn’t,

but you can’t be sure

you were anyone at all before

the past comes home just to hurt you,

when you met me i had holes in my sneakers,

now you’ll never meet me again

we had such pretty words for each other,

we had limber knees and we danced,

we smiled,

we saw things in each other

that the world turned it’s eyes away from,

now you can’t bare to look my way,

the past comes home just to hurt you

the next moment from now says “not yet”,

and we lose sight of who we wanted to be

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

the Sitcom is Over

return to the original set,

narrating wrap up,

hugging,

cue toned down theme song (karaoke version),

snapping/clapping,

credits with extended “thank you” sections,

 

cut to black

 

the buzzer goes off,

character is broken

immediately,

and leaves to wardrobe,

then to their cars,

back to their families,

back to their friends,

i am still on set,

“Go home Roger.

I’ll shut them off myself,

I just need a minute.”

 

my duck tape X,

scene 1, take 1,

“From the top?”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

These Walls are Closing In

“I always keep all these walls up. I’m so guarded.”

 

“I never tell anyone this but last time…”

“I don’t like to talk about it, it’s just one of those things, you know like…”

“Oh my god, this is just like when…”

“I used to… I don’t talk about it a lot.”

“I don’t like to put my feelings out there. I’ve been hurt a lot. So when you…”

“You really pissed me off when… This is why I don’t like to talk about my feelings.”

“I never let anybody in. So you have to promise not to let anybody know what I told you.”

“It’s a secret. Only ____, _____, and _____, know, okay? Don’t say anything.”

“Oh my god, I think I’m totally in love with ________. It’s so strange, because I usually don’t let this kind of thing happen. Not since last time with _________.”

“You wanna know something? I think…”

“________ really did just have so much to offer. We were together for so long. I just ended up shutting him out.”

 

so many “guarded” people

i’m beginning to think it’s a shame to make you look emotionally complex.

but what would i know? I’m just “emotionally unavailable”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Greatest City in the World

my calender has a black and white picture

of the New York Public Library

in 1915

hanging horizontal about the rows

and columns

that i don’t actually check off,

as the days go by,

i just can’t keep up

i miss that city,

8 and a third Million people,

at least most of them lonely,

just like me,

it was home.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments